I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
