I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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