why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
