Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
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you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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