She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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