remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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