I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
