Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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