You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
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I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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