he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You ruined the universe
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
