I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
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I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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