Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
