im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
my liver is dry heaving
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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