physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize