I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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