The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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