he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
