oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
