Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
