you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
