I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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