Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
