I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
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