k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize