My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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