your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
