Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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