My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
