Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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