Kiss
Puke
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
