Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
