well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
