I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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