WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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