it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
