I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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