in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
