All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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