I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I met the friendliest cop last night
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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