hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
