thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize