Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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