how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
