dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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