You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We got so high we made milksteak
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
