then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Omg I joined a choir last night...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
