to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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