i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
