so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
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The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize