Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
