There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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