More tranny stories later!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's blow job season.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
