i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
