Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
