i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
