I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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