Apparently you make a good broom.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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