But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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