i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
