I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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